Memoirs of a COVID Bride
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One beautiful afternoon in April 2019, Michael got down on one knee and asked me to marry him at Bethesda Terrace; my favorite place, and dream wedding location.
We celebrated with a glass of champagne at The Boathouse, where I wanted to have my wedding reception. Low and behold, we booked it and my dream wedding was planned for April 2020.
March 2020 Hits
Michael and I both had our bachelor/ette parties and were finally in the 2 week countdown to the big day. Then the world stopped.
I refused to believe our wedding would be impacted until family members started calling to say they won’t be attending. I officially became a COVID bride.
After days of tears and denial, we postponed to October 25, thinking that there was no way we would still be in this crazy mess 6 months down the road.
To say this was emotional was a deep understatement. I have always been the bridesmaid, never the bride. Countless wedding parties, showers, bachelorettes parties, coordinated gifts, you name it for all of my friends. I cried as they walked down the aisle, kissed them goodbye for their honeymoons, and I was over the moon for it to finally be my turn.
As ridiculous as it may seem to some, this was my first foray in to depression, and it hit very hard. I cried all the time, drank too much, didn’t want to get off the couch, and I was mad at everyone who tried to make me feel better about it.
April 3, 2020 was supposed to be our wedding day. As I sit in my office writing this, I’m surrounding by wedding favors that were meant to be given to our guests, a globe “guestbook” with the date on it, and I’m haunted. The day came and from the moment we woke up, champagne was delivered, cupcakes sent, flowers showing up at the door, so much love being sent to us from our friends and family, acknowledging our day.
We laughed, we cried, we toasted our loved ones, sampled some of my new lingerie, and then it was over. Back to the waiting game for October 25.
A New Reality Sets In
As Spring turned to Summer and we started to look toward Fall, the writing was on the wall. This wedding would not happen on October 25, at least not the way that we planned. After pressure from a number of sources, I made the call to cancel our wedding at The Boathouse.
Again, the depression sunk in. I spent the evening crying in the dark in the bathtub, blasting Adele, drinking too much wine, and eating candy. I could not believe this was happening again.
We looked at a number of different options for smaller ceremonies, places we could hold them, should we postpone again. I feel like I exhausted every option.
For 6 months I “broke up” with my dream wedding and the emotional rollercoaster was very much the same as what we go through when ending a relationship.
Our New Wedding Plans
Our final wedding plans were to get married in Jersey City with just our immediate family on October 24. The day was beautiful, we laughed, we cried, we actually got through our vows, and while it wasn’t what we planned, we had an incredible afternoon.
The following day we thought about all of the things we missed out on, and it’s still a bit touchy for the both of us. We had no music, which was a key thing for our original plans, we didn’t do the traditional dances, no bouquet toss or garter hunt, and most importantly, we missed our wedding parties, our extended families, and our friends.
When the world is a better place we’re going to *hopefully* celebrate our one year anniversary as a huge reception with everyone we missed, but again, it’s not something we can plan today.
So if you’re a COVID bride and you need someone to talk to, I’m here. If you know a COVID bride, be there for them. Everyone is going through something this year, so let’s just be kind, spread love, & remember that love isn’t cancelled.